For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
