this beer tastes like vomit already
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
