did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
