Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
