...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
someone threw a dead crab at me
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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