I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
