I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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