Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
