yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
