I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
