I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's rum buckets o'clock
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
