You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
