i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
