just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
