Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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