It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
