Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
