Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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