i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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