I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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