there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize