so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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