She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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