Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
lets start a swedish sibling band together
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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