we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
