Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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