How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
