But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You pole danced in your parka.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
