I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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