We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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