you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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