Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
