I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
