I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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