I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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