I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
