AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
