For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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