Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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