its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
