Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have fence marks all over my body
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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