you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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