On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
