I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
