not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
