Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
