Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
