im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
