I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
