once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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