my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
