I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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