Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
