Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
