I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
