My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
