Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Randomize
