Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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