First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
