During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
