The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
