When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You need Xanax blowdarts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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