Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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