Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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