she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
