I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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