Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
don't judge my taste in strippers
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
