whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize