There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
