That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
