why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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