your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
